You are a dick if you...

You are a dick if you….

1.       drive slow in the carpool lane

2.       refer to your pet as “your kid”

3.       smoke just outside a buildings entry door

4.       say you have to “check your schedule” and NEVER get back

5.       have an SUV and only one kid

6.       can’t watch anything unless it’s in HD

7.       say you’re a diehard Lakers fan and you just moved here from Minnesota

8.       change lanes in front of someone when there was no one in front of you to begin with

9.       ignore someone without telling them WHY you are ignoring them

10.   watch any kind of reality show like Jersey Shore religiously

11.   leave your turn signal on as you drive

12.   park diagonally into a parking space or over the parking line

13.   won’t go to California because of a possible earthquake

14.   make a steak dinner for yourself and no one else in the household

15.   are reading this and think “I’m the dick” for writing it