Ima B Me

I am really tired of flaky ass people.  Sometimes I wonder if I am truly the only respectful person left in the world.  No matter who I run into I always seem to find idiots out there that never do what they say they will do in some fashion or another.  It's pathetic.

People act like keeping in touch is the hardest thing in the world.  Seriously, all you have to do is pick up the cell phone (yeah that thing you've been using to listen to music and check your email for the past 2 hours) and get back to me.  Is it REALLY that tough?  Oh wait I forgot.  Between going to work, checking the internet, stuffing your face and texting everyone in sight while waiting in line at blockbuster it's really hard to find the time to actually call someone up anymore.  I mean it is almost physically impossible.

Maybe it is because I was raised up in a messed up family with a deadbeat dad that liked to tear me down every chance he got, but I always... and I really mean ALWAYS... try and get back to someone or stick to what I originally said I would do.  I mean it just makes good sense to do it.

Now I understand this is the real reason why I have very limited close friends.  It's because I see right through all the BS that people sling at me.  I am a straight up person.  If you lie to my face; I can tell it.  If you give me a line; I may call you on it.  If you say you'll get back to me and don't; I won't forgive you.  That's just the nature of my being.  I am like this because I believe if you really care about someone that you will be there when needed.  Not just when it is convenient enough for you.

Funny thing is I am the lowest maintenance person around.  I brought myself up to handle my own problems... to be my own personal counselor.  Because of this I have no problem with helping others when they are in need.  But if I do not get the same back when I ACTUALLY have to get something off my chest or just want a friend to hang out with then you were not much of a friend to begin with.

I guess I am just destined to be alone in my own thoughts until I die.  Don't mean to seem dramatic but it's been 33 years so far and still have not found one person (outside of my wife) that can come close to being there.  Check that, I THOUGHT I did once... but that person turned out to be a self-absorbed flake. 

Regardless, people are shit.  The more you depend on others, the more hurt in the long run you will feel.  In a way I'm glad that my jackass father taught me early on how people really are.  His mental beatings taught me how to depend on the one person I can always count on: MYSELF!