Sunday, October 23, 2011

I'm An Egotistical Sonofab.....

Okay, so the title might be a little harsh, but it's true to a point.

I came to the realization today (I know out of nowhere) that I am so focused on what I am doing that I fail to engage when others tell me what is going on with them.  I guess it hit me when I noticed my daughters tv on at 12:30am.  As soon as I opened the door she quickly acted like she was sleeping.  My first instinct was to just turn the tv off and tell her that I knew she was awake and no tv.  After closing the door I thought, "Why didn't I show more concern and just ask her if everything was okay?"  I mean it was Saturday night so no school tomorrow and perhaps she couldn't sleep for some reason.

That got the noggin' a joggin' and the more I thought of it the more I realized how true it was... that I am focused on myself.  I thought back to when I would be in a conversation with others and instead of acknowledging them and asking more questions I tend to have my own story on the subject.  That means I was thinking of my story when they were talking to me and most likely I wasn't listening all the way.

This saddens me to a point because I really don't want to be this person at all.  I could blame my acting background and photographers nature or memememememe attitude but why?  This is definitely something I can and most likely will try to change now that I am aware.  The main thing is I have to change for the benefit of the other people around me and not for them to notice I am changing.  Otherwise it would be about me again.

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