Well, actually it was my step grandfather. Funny thing is I am quite conflicted with this news. I mean I feel I should have some reaction to it but I really don't. I don't know how to take that.
The last time I saw him was after my 4th grade year (when I was only 9). I went to stay with my grandmother and step grandfather for a few months that summer in Illinois. All I really remember about him was that he was a hard ass. He never allowed me to have any friends over, he took me fishing and told me after it was cooked that I had to eat everything that I caught that day myself, and he use to spank me with the side of an arrow. I guess it was more inventive than a belt. In spite of those 3 things I really never had an issue with him. But when my real grandmother died a few years later I just assumed that he was no longer a part of my immediate family because he was never blood to begin with. Not to mention, I never really knew him in the first place.
I still feel like I should feel something though. I even thought for a second what if the call was about my own father passing away. How would I feel? Would I stop everything I was doing and reflect? Would I even cry a tear? Like my step grandfather, I never really knew my dad at all, even though we lived in the same household until I was 18.
A part of me feels I should be there at the funeral for my families sake. But I don't know. I'll have to see how things go.
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