Casey Anthony trial... Good for her

I don't usually comment on issues like this because frankly what's the point.  People will have their opinions but who here actually knows her?  How many people in the world have seen all the evidence and have an unbiased opintion?  Not very many.

It cracks me up when programs like Nancy Grace keep having people on her show call in and almost in tears like they have anything invested in this trial.  Saying things like "I know she's guilty" and "Why were they celebrating their victory when a little girl is dead?" and "She's a psychopath and she will kill again" WTF!!!!

Seriously, she was in prison for 3 years already.  If I was in prison for any amount of time and got a not guilty plea I would be dancing on the courtroom table.  I wouldn't give a shit about what anyone else thought.  She had 3 years to mourn the loss of her daughter. 

The fact is she was found NOT GUILTY.  Like it or not it's over.  She still was in jail for 3 years, she still has to live with the loss of her daughter, and her family still has the legal bill to pay.  All in all, regardless if she gets money for a movie deal she is still NOT GUILTY! 

People in this world love to place blame on people before knowing the facts.  Then they claim they know the person is guilty because it doesn't make sense.  Since when are you guilty because things don't add up.  That's what the courtroom is for to PROVE it doesn't make sense and fill in the gaps.  If you can't do that then how do you know anything?

The world is full of dumbasses who have absolutely nothing better to do than to look at their neighbor and find fault in them.  "That person drives a 1995 Honda, they must be poor", "That person is weird and has long hair, he must do drugs".  Seriously!

There is no innocent until proven guilty in this world.  It's all about perception and it is assanine that it's that way.  Hell, just the other day I was pulling into a parking space and backed up a little to line my car up.. suddenly a car speeds around me yelling at me "What are you doing!" as he drove by.  "Uggghhh, I was parking my car dumbass... what are you doing swerving around my vehicle like an earthquake is coming?"

It really gets to me that all it takes is one person to say something bad about another to almost make it true.  It happens in schools, it happens where you work and it happens with your so-called friends.  People are shit plain and simple.

Moving to Europe

Sometimes I just want to pack up and move to Europe.  Maybe it's my restless nature in me... or maybe there's something more to it.  Either case, if it wasn't for my 2 lil' ones I probably would already be there now.  Not that I am not happy being a dad or anything (let's get that straight right now).

Seriously though, sometimes I just get tired of being in the same place everyday.  Most days I am very content with my situation and happy to be living in Southern Cali where I can make a living doing what I love to do.  But that thing that I love to do (photography) is also the thing driving me to change. 

Luckily over the past 4 years I have been able to travel for weeks at a time all around Europe, including parts of Africa, Turkey and later this year China.  I feel very fortunate to have done that in which many only get to dream of.  But I crave more.  Sure 3 weeks is fine but I'm talking at least 3 months to a year.  How fun would it be to just fly to Southern France and start over for a period of time.  Find a job doing something, travel around Europe just because it's the weekend, and enjoy a completely different way of life for a spell.  Sure I would miss many things I am used to in the States, but that's the idea. 

There are still many places I want to see around the world, although places in Europe are getting less and less attractive since I have already been there 5 times now.  But Sweden, Finland, St Petersburg, Prague, Vienna all still interest me as well as other parts of France and Germany that I haven't seen yet.

Next year I am planning a trip that will include several places I have already seen.  Paris, Barcelona, Nice and Rome are all cities I have been to before but haven't had the opportunity to finish my stay there.  That's why I am making sure that Lisbon Portugal is on that list as well to say I've been there.  A future trip would have to include Prague, Copenhagen, parts of Sweden and Poland, Vienna and Bratislava.  That would most likely end my trips to Europe for awhile as I concentrate on South America and Australia after that.

The point is, even though I am not going to live overseas anytime soon I still have this craving to do so.  I mean how great would it be to just leave my place in the morning with an easel and draw the Roman Forum as I see it in front of me?  How awesome would it be to jump on a train tomorrow to see what Versailles is like in France?  Sure one day I will be able to see those places on a trip but just the thought of not having to wait until a certain time of year to do so just intrigues me so much.  Hell, it's killing me just waiting these final 2 1/2 months before hitting Beijing.

Bottom line is I'm a survivor.  I always seem to make due and adapt to my surroundings and this would be no different.  And when my kids are grown and out of the house in about 8-10 years then I may just revisit this notion of moving to the French Riviera for a time.  Until then, I guess I will just have to make due with the 3 weekers.

The Joker Inside Me

I've never been one to be completely comfortable with my professional life.  I am always on the go looking for a way to ease my mind and make sense of the world.  That's why the life of an artist truly suits me.

I have been all over the map it seems: from starting my own internet company and moving to LA for acting to creating my own film projects and photography.  I am also an avid drawer and painter and love to sketch life-like images with precision.  I have flown all around the world and at time taken up a foreign language as a hobby.  And in between all of this I sometimes work a regular job just to keep my head on straight.

Matter of fact I am looking for a temp job now.  Not really because of money but because right now my mind is so crossed up that I actually need something to take me away from it all for awhile.

I love the creative side of me, but sometimes it's a true burden.  I get so lost in being free that I don't realize how consumed I actually am at the time.  I also understand the psyche of artists and actors as they let alcohol and drugs take over their persona's.  I for one will never allow myself to get to the at point, but sometimes finding an escape of any kind is all some of us are really looking for.

Luckily for me I have a stable family that depends on me as much as I depend on them.  That is the one constant in my life that I most honorably cherish and will never relinquish.  I have often turned down creative opportunities because I chose not to negatively influence my life and take away from my obligations at home.  I know first hand how it feels to grow up without feeling welcomed in your own home and my kids will never experience that kind of pain.

If it wasn't for my family, however, I know I would be in a dark, solemn place right now.  I would be very successful in my pursuit of my goals mainly due to my determination to make things work, and with nothing holding me back and left to my own devices I know I would accomplish many things.  But the cost of that accomplishment is what would drive me crazy. 

Unfortunately in my professional life I still border on the edge of insanity.  Somedays I want to challenge myself and put all of my efforts into my goals, while other days I am content with my accomplishments and enjoy the time off.  If only there was a productive way to do both.

Getting My DeNiro On

So a film I worked on last year is almost complete and soon to be screened.  I can't tell you how much fun it was to be on set again after some time away.  Not to mention my approach to acting has improved dramatically. 

When I first started out in 2003 I had this young boy hoping to be a leading man thing going on.  But over the years I have realized my niche in this business- raw intensity.  My idols have changed from Brad Pitt and Johnny Depp to Marlon Brando, Robert DeNiro, Jack Nicholson and Dustin Hoffman.  Although I am not a complete fan of method acting I have found a great way to coexist method with Meiner in a very effective way.

I am going to make my way back into this business one way or another.  Not because of money or recognition but because I just love it so much.  I enjoy bringing my intensity out in a role and I know there are many meaty roles out there that I can tackle.  It's just a matter of time.

Night Owl

It's a wonder why my mind excels at night yet fizzels during the day.

For as long as I can remember I have always been a night person.  This is where I am Mozart, Einstein and Sokrates all roled into one.  My best ideas are thrown together like a stew and boiled to taste.  But as soon as I wake up the feelings gone. 

Something happens between the 8 or so hours of sleep each night that turns my motivation switch in my head off.  There are even nights when I feel I could stay up forever just to keep the thoughts in my head together long enough to do something about it.  Unfortunately the rest of the world is long asleep at that time.

I guess it's rightfully so... if my motivational sensors worked as well in the day time then I would be running 100 miles an hour nonstop. 

A Mom Pushed and Cussed Out My Daughter Today

My daughter was petting a cat outside when an 8 year old boy pushed my daughter and told her to stop.  She continued and he pushed her some more.  So she got up and pushed him back (not even hard enough to knock him off balance mind you).

Suddenly the boys mom comes out of the house, pushes my 12 year old daughter and tells her "Never fucking touch my son again or fucking else"

Once I heard this (from several sources by the way- not just my daughter) I went straight to their house to confront her but nobody was home.  I went there several times until after 9pm and still didn't see anyone there.

Tomorrow I plan to go over there and when that lady sees me (with my daughter behind me so she knows what this is about) I will tell her this...

"Before I contact the police I wanted to give you 1 minutes to explain.  Did you touch and cuss at my daughter?"  I will of course expect a sincere apology to my daughters face.  If she gives me any kind of negative or defensive response I will simply say, "Thanks, that is all I needed to hear from you- you can tell the rest to the cop who files the report"

Of course I want to go into thug mode on this bitch so bad.  I would love nothing more but to have my wife go over there and spank her in front of her own 8 year old son until she cries out herself.  But being the methodical person I am I'd rather settle this in a way that will make sure she is sorry for what she did.

Telling my daughter to not push her child is understandable.... coming to me is preferable.... but to be physical with my daughter (even if it was not a serious push) and then to combat it with definite F-bombs to her face is inexcusable.  I always told my daughter that if she is in trouble or wronged in a way that she can not handle I will be there to fight her battle for her.  I can't wait to see the smile on my daughter's face tomorrow when that lady apologies to her straight up.  And if she doesn't--- well she is one stupid bitch!

Basketball Is Back

Three weeks ago I started playing basketball again.  My mind was there as well as my dribbling skills but my legs and stamina were not.  I found myself knowing what I wanted to do but I got tired fast.

So I made an effort to get back on the court more often and have played almost every day since then.  After a few days I found my shot again and soon the teenagers at the court were calling me Steve Nash (Phoenix Suns player).  My game was coming back and I was feeling good about myself.  I mean it's cool to play with young people but it wasn't much of a challenge.  I ended up taking it slow a lot and turning it on in spurts. 

Today, however, was the test I've been looking for.  Finally I played a 5 on 5 full court game with actual league players.  Of course nobody had a clue who I was or what I could do.  So I take it slow at first passing around and taking open jumpers when I can when suddenly on defense I knock the ball away and get a steal.  I go full court at full speed blowing by everyone to lay the ball up.  The next play I did the same and suddenly I felt like I was fully back.  We ended up winning the game as I scored or assisted on half of the points.

I mean I was dribbling between my legs, taking my defender off the dribble, hitting turnaround shots and passing to open teammates all game long.  The guys on the other team were scrambling to find someone that could actually guard me.  Once I was walking up the court with the ball and dribbling between my legs.  My defender (who was looking another way at first) turned and saw me walking the ball up towards him and he said "Oh shit here he comes".

Now I know many of you would read this and think so what, but to me basketball was everything growing up. I played hard every day to be the best I could and when I had my knee injury in high school that ended any hope of playing in college.  And of course when I got married I lost my edge for it.  But now I am back.  Taking 20 something year old ball players off the dribble today and hearing the ohhs and ahhs from them as I made turnaround jumpers with a hand in my face, or passed the ball off the dribble to teammates cutting to the basket just made me feel alive.